2023 Poetry Curation Project

 These are the five poems that stood out to me the most from what I've learned. Here is my list in video form. 

"Do not go gentle" - by Dylan Thomas, read by Michael Sheen

"Homage to the Empress of Blues" - by Robert Hayden 

"Like as the waves make towards the pebbled shore" - by William Shakespeare

"The Victims" - written by Sharon Olds 

"Barbie Doll" - written by Marge Piercy 

How I chose these five poems is that I see these poems as narrations for phases of my life. "Do not go gentle" reminds me of the fact that I was depressed for a bit in my late teens, and it took a lot to fight my way out of it. The way that Dylan Thomas wrote the poem in such a resigned but angry way talks about not giving up just yet, that really spoke to me. Homage to the Empress of Blues reminds me of the way that music was helpful in a lot of ways to me as I got through different difficulties of my life. Barbie Doll speaks to me in a way that helps me understand that my struggle with my body image is seen, and although the poem is short and to the point and ends in tragedy, it shows me that I can write a different ending to my version. The poem "The Victims" makes me think about when my parents divorced, and how much better our lives got after my mom and dad's marriage ended. As sad as it was, there are less consequences for my siblings and I then there are for my dad. 

What I understand from what I've learned about poetry is that fiction can be bent, twisted and shaped into whatever a person wants essentially. Through the many types of poetry, a story can be told, or a random sentence, a cry for help, a grief-filled plea, etc. But they all have structure in some way. Although building a foundation requires a blueprint, all buildings are different in their design, which is how I think poetry works as well. 

March 2023

 Hi all. So it’s…..been a while. I’m at another school in Kansas, I’ve been participating in their performing arts program, been working on keeping grades up, and just living life as well as a person can. And there have been a lot of changes and transitions, and things I’ve been discovering about myself. So, a while ago, I changed my pronouns to “she/they”, and was fine with that for a while. Then I had a bit of some more changes where it didn’t feel like those were the right pronouns, and I started experimenting with chest binding (which went kinda sorta okay even though I don’t have actual binders to use), and played around with calling myself “Cameron”. But then after doing that, writing my actual name out for some reason felt better, and I think I accepted something about myself, I just didn’t know what yet. Then recently, I started watching The Last of Us, and one of the actors, Bella Ramsey (who plays Ellie), is genderqueer. Mostly I was kinda like “oh, cool”, but then the more articles I was seeing about them, something kinda clicked, and this past Thursday, I realized what it was. All my life, besides feeling like a girl and/or feminine, I’ve always felt a “something-other-ness”. 

And now I realize that that “something-other-ness” was that I’m actually genderqueer. And I have decided to change my name a bit from “Mariah” to “Mari”, because that also feels right. I think I was also always meant to have multiple pronouns, because I was always more than I actually thought, I just didn’t realize it till now. From what I can understand, what being genderqueer means (according to google) is “a person whose gender identity does not correspond to conventional binary gender distinctions”. And honestly, I couldn’t find a more perfect definition for the kind of person I am and always have been. 

I’m still figuring out what being genderqueer means for me, since it can be interpreted different ways by different people, but I want to make my identity my own, so it’ll be a journey for sure, but I will enjoy every step along the way. So, allow me to introduce myself: 

Hi! I’m Mari, and my pronouns are whichever ones you want to use. The ones I like to go by personally are she/he/they, but I’m fine with whatever you’re comfortable with. Thank you for being here. 

Sorry I haven’t written in a while, I will work on posting more often when I can. 

Happy Monday!