Saturday

I've read this book twice already, but John Green did a REALLY good job with it. It's a beautiful story, about love and life and death, and you really get the point that we're put on earth for a not so long time so we've got to make our short existences as much like an infinity as possible. One of my favorite quotes from the book that's said a lot throughout the novel is something Hazel Lancaster declares quite often: "Some infinities are bigger than other infinities." This quote is my very favorite cause although it's incredibly simple, it's incredibly simple: even though Hazel and Augustus only had a short time together, it was still a little infinity. 

That's the thing about time: it may seem short but to some people it can last forever. That's why we need to make the most out of what we're given while we're here. It's also helped me understand cancer a bit more. It's a dreadful disease that can touch anyone it wants, but through it, people realize things about themselves and everything around them. The world doesn't stop when you do. It just carries on, not stopping to acknowledge anything lost or taken or even given. Another favorite quote of mine is from Doctor Who: "Some people live more in twenty years than others do in eighty. It's not the time that matters, it's the person." 

So the question for everyone including me is this: what are you going to do with your time while you still have it? Will you spend it with kindness, or cruelty? Confidence or shame? Bravery, or cowardice? The choice is yours and mine to make. All we gotta do is choose the path, shoulder our packs and start moving. But the ultimate decision is yours to make as to which path it is you choose.

Happy Saturday, everyone, and thanks for keeping me writing!!!

10/18/15

Yesterday was the day I had to do the most hardest thing I have ever done. Yesterday we tried to summit Mount Lamborn, and it was NOT easy. by the end of it, I was in a lot of pain and just wanting to get off the mountain as soon as possible. But being on that mountain also had me learning some good things. I was able to come a bit of a breakthrough with mom, and I was able to clear things up with my family. I also realized that relationships that are just for how I want to feel aren't really that good to have. But I know I did what I could to get up that trail. Granted, there were A LOT of tears, but that's what going to happen in life: You'll come across something that you'll have to climb or figure out how to solve that's going to be difficult.

There will probably be blood, sweat, and tears involved, but you'll need to tough it out till you get it done. Only then will you be able to relax and take it easy. My older sister and her husband was with us yesterday, and by the end of the day he admitted that the climb was something that was totally out of his comfort zone. Some people might think that their comfort zone is just fine, when they're really missing a whole lot that's happening outside of it. But sometimes people are too comfortable and don't want to do anything out of the ordinary, which is something called Routine. I have hiked before, and it's been fun, but something about that particular one yesterday was somehow very different from some of the hikes I've done before. It helped me realize something about life: there are times where you feel like you're not getting anywhere inline, and trail seems to go on and on, and you're hurting all over and you just want to get home, but if you just keep putting one foot in front of the other, slowly but surely you'll get down that mountain and on your way home. I thought I was NEVER going to get home, and my mom kept me motivated to keep putting one foot in front of the other, and before I knew it, I was on my way home, to a shower, and bed. If you have a difficult moment in life where you feel like you can't get something important done, you're going to need someone supporting you all the way like a parent, friend, spouse, etc., in order to summit and finish what you started.

So, I guess that's it, but I'd love to hear what your most difficult climb has been, whether in life or other ways!!!

Thanks for keeping me writing!!!

10/15/15

Guess what, guys, I was thinking that since I've been talking a lot about my sister getting married that you guys might want to see the wedding highlights. The full wedding video is good, too, but I liked this one a bit better. Enjoy!!!





Kristin + Tyler Wedding Highlights from West Slope Wedding Films on Vimeo.

About that band I was talking about, here's a video I got of them performing "Uptown Funk" by Bruno Mars at a local apple cider making/organic food market. They'd been practicing for a bit, and here is the finished product. Enjoy!!!!

Hey blogfans!!!!

sorry to keep you waiting so long, things have been CRAZY over the past few months. In case you haven't heard, My older sister got married 4 months ago (time sure does fly, huh) and she's doing really well married life wise. I am also the oldest sister in the house now, which is still something to get used to, and on top of that, I have 4 new siblings cause we're doing foster care. as if things couldn't get any crazier for me, right? I have my permit (YAY!!!) and I am slowly getting the hang of being the one who's driving, and I'm still working on not hyperventilating whenever I have to drive fast. I'm still working a babysitting job I was doing over the summer when I can, and I am on the lookout for something else, something that's a little bigger job-wise. Before the year is out, I would like to do a few things, like travel a bit, see friends, that sort of thing. Oh, and I probably forgot to tell you.... WE HAVE A GARAGE BAND!!!! they kinda moved in during the last couple months of summer, so that's been pretty awesome. A live band performing in our very own garage was something I dreamed about, and it's amazing that it's come to life. Well, that's what happens when you live in a place like Paonia. Wow, I can't believe I am running out of new changes to write about. Oh, I am working on a cosplay, and a friend of mine is making the last piece of it, so when it's done I can model it and maybe get some pictures up on here and a second blog that I just started working on today, which is all about the geeky stuff, which I love. There's also Mockingjay Pt. 2 that I'm excited about but also not excited, cause I have a feeling that I am going to have a MASSIVE feels attack by the time I walk out of the theater (yep, that's right, THIS girl is pre-buying her tickets!!). Also, there is the Sherlock christmas special to look forward to, which I am SO happy about, cause as a sherlockian, there's not really much to go on really since it only has 3 seasons, which happens to be very, and I mean VERY, painful. Also, I am going to my first comic con in denver with a cousin, which I am really excited about and can't wait for. But anyway, before the year is out, I would like to

- Be in a play

- do something huge

- sing duet with the lead signer of the garage band (something I NEVER imagined I could do)

-definitely travel.

these are a few things I would like to see come to existence. I find that I really miss being an actress, cause the last play I did was one that happened last winter, I think it was??? yeah, so a bit of a long time since I was last in a play. I also would like to just do more. I find myself at home a lot of the time being older sister and helping my parents out when I can, which is pretty much a lot of the time. I'm just itching to just get out there and do something with my life and figure out what my life is actually for, like finding a job that I like, meet new people, that sort of stuff. Well, hopefully this covers enough of an update for you guys to read. The great thing is that when I signed in to the blog main page, I found that views of my blog have gone to about 1,000 already!!! thank you guys for reading my many adventures in life!!!!!

October

Hey blog fans,

Sorry I haven't given you guys an update yet. We have been super busy with life. Trying to remember what we've been doing....well, there's speech class, catching up on school, and my eldest sister who is 18 has been dating a guy for six or seven months, my brother is doing football, and my dad is healing quite nicely from his accident, which is good. We have found a house and it is so nice: it's a mansion-like place in the country part of Paonia, and we are close neighbors to some really good neighbors, which means we're just down the road which is a walk or five minute car ride away, so sleepovers are super easy to do since we're closer. I have discovered coldplay's new album ghost stories which I am in love with, and one of my used-to-be-single aunts is now married, which I am excited about. We all had a major part in it: Kristin was a filmer/photographer, Jordan was the cake baker, Elijah was the ring bearer, and me and Jordan got to carry a sign down the aisle that said, "Last Chance To Run", and my sisters Aysia and Aniya were flower girls. They got to wear frilly orange and red tutus, and the got to toss dried flower petals all over the place. And the flowers for the wedding itself came from one of the farms here in Paonia. Now, we're all just waiting for them to find the time to visit. Oh, and my grandma moved back to Texas a little bit ago, and we're looking at kids for our foster care to adopt thing, so that's been cool. Plus, I am going to be a junior counselor (woot, woot!!) for a drama camp this fall and I might get to Oklahoma between now and then. And I am starting to think about looking for a job, since the ice cream shop job I was looking to aim for is closed for the season, so I might consider becoming a bus girl for one of the restaurants here, so wish me luck! Another thing is that since my sister is seeing someone, I've been thinking about my future guy, too. But it's hard, cause I have this thing for guys who like my other sisters and not me back. I've heard from my sisters that I usually don't try to to be noticed cause of what I wear. I mean, what can I say, I have had problems feeling feminine recently. But I know that God has it all planned, so I know I shouldn't worry about it, but it's been hard for me lately. You'd think, though, since I've seen a number of movies about true love, that I'd know what it is, but since my sister fell in love with someone, it's a whole 'nother thing than the movies made love look like. But I guess it's better to focus on bigger things that I can accomplish by myself first before I get to that chapter. 

But anyway, I have learned a new piece on the piano, which I have been working on, but since I learned it, I've been playing it alot, so my siblings have been pretty much sick of hearing it, so I have to do it on the keyboard upstairs so that I don't drove my siblings crazy. 😝 and I recently got done reading a really intense read, called "Summer of My German Soldier". It really talked about abuse, both physical and verbal, and the power of friendship and the human spirit. I really liked it, but it's not something I'd read again.i think it's a banned book, though for a lot of reasons, particularly the abuse, cause the main character's father beats her a lot throughout the book. Also, my mom wants us to do a film project for the film festival, which I have difficulty getting myself psyched up about, because last time, our film stunk but won something anyway, and all the interesting films got the best prizes. And by interesting I don't mean the good kind. Some were sweet, and the best one won a prize, but I think it deserved more. And I have to do a photo montage film thingie, which I have had problems coming up with what it's going to be about. So, I guess that's it, that's what I've been doing this year. 😊 let me know what you guys have been doing this year, i'd love to hear about it!!!!! 😄

June 1st, 2014

 One year ago today, I lost a very good friend. Her name was jubilee grace weber, and she totally changed my life. I didn't know her for a long time, but she made an impact on me, my family, and the whole town. She was a beautiful light while she was here, laughing, talking, and making a difference in my life as a person. Today is the one year mark of her passing. My world fell apart when I heard she had passed. I knew she was in a better place, but I asked myself, why her??? And why did she die so young when she had so much to look forward to: first day of school, her ups and downs, the good days and the bad, and watching her grow up. I was pretty mad at God for a time. Cause I mean, everyone was asking, why her, why did she have to die when she was just four??? That's way too young an age for anyone to die. But I just have to tell myself, it was for a reason. You will see her again soon, you just have to wait have hope and believe that you'll see her again, and she won't be sick. The hardest parts are the memories. I can remember what we did with her, like read her books and hold her, but I remember during that time, that I was stubborn in thinking that she wasn't going to die, she'll get better. But her parents knew that the tumor was inoperable, and there was nothing they could do. But I kept telling myself, she'll get better just when things start to get worse. And she was such a trooper through it all. As Zach Sobiech put it, she was a kid who really didn't lose. She has won, because Jesus had the ultimate victory, and he still does.

There are times when I wake up, and I think, Jubilee's gone. The months after she died is when it hit me the hardest. But I cannot express the pain that I know is a whole lot deeper for her parents. Another way to help me cope is that I've been listening to a song called "Clouds." it was written by a kid named Zach Sobiech, a kid who had a bone cancer that gave him only a few months to live. His story is incredible, and has made me really think about how I need to appreciate my life, since we all one go at it, so to speak. But he made the most of it. He wrote songs that said goodbye. My favorite verse of his song Clouds is "...and maybe someday/I'll see you again/we'll float up in the clouds and we'll never see the end." When I listen to that line, it's not Zach singing anymore, it's Jubilee that's speaking through the lyrics. And that gives me hope. I do miss her a lot, but I know she isn't sick there and she won't be ever again. Before I end this post, I wanted to show you the song clouds. And I hope it will touch your life, like it has touched mine.

Here is the link: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=sDC97j6lfyc