Thursday

Hey guys,
sorry I haven't written in a while. Past couple of days have been tough for me. On tuesday, I had to take our dog to the vet to be put down. She was sick, and wasn't getting better, so she was only suffering. We tried helping her out all that we could, but nothing was changing, so we decided that the best and most respectful thing to do for her was to let her go so she wouldn't have to be in pain anymore. I was right next to her when she was given the shot when she died. I decided to stay with her cause pets can tell at that moment when you're with them or not. It happened really fast, and she went quietly.I was hard to do, but ultimately, it was better for her. I was thinking all the rest of that day, Why am I so emotional? It's just an animal, I shouldn't be this affected! I know the reason why is because me and my family had known her since she was a puppy, and had raised her, walked her and played with her and cuddled with her, so she had become a part of our family. Now that she's gone, the house has gotten a certain kind of quiet. I can no longer hear her collar tags jangling whenever she moves around the house, nor the way she pants or her barking.

It's hard right now to kinda go from day to day without thinking about her. I mean, how could you not after losing a pet? The night before we took her in, I tried watching a couple sad videos, like from Marley & Me, and Forrest Gump, and whatever else I could think of to get the tears out and over with. When I got home, I realized I was dreadfully wrong. In order to not think about it, I kept myself busy getting people places since I had become designated driver since my parents were in denver getting some appointments taken care of. Surprisingly, having the Broadway soundtrack of Hamilton helped me a bit. It was something to have while working through grieving. I can't say that this will be easy for me to get over, but something that helps me out is that I know she's not in any pain anymore. I don't exactly know if animals get to go to heaven or not, but I hope she's happy wherever she is. Me and my family have also been able to get support from friends and family which has been amazing. I guess what I got from this past experience is that I never want to do it again for a long time. Utah only lived to be about 8, and I hope that if we get another dog, that they have a little more time with us. Cause honestly, I felt like Utah was here and then she was gone. It seems like only yesterday when she was an adorable bundle of fur and brought her home.

She didn't exactly do a whole lot the last couple months she was with us, but at least we knew she was there. All I can say is that she was the greatest dog to me, and we had the best of times with her. I wish we could have had more time, but sometimes, life doesn't work that way. I miss her every day, and probably will for the rest of my life, cause no dog can ever take her place, cause she was a special dog with so many messages to share. One time, we were out doing something and had left her in the backyard. There was a bad thunderstorm, and she got scared and somehow got out of the fenced enclosure and ran away.  It wasn't till later when we found her at the dog pound. Apparently the dog catcher had caught her while she was on the run. As my dad went in to pay to get her out, he realized that what he was doing for our dog, Utah, is what God did for us. When he had given us a home, and loved us, we had run away from him until our sins caught up with us. Through Jesus, we were given salvation and another chance, as my dad had given had given her another chance by buying her back from the dog pound. Needless to say, she never ran away from us again, cause she knew who she was safest with: her family. I will forever be grateful to her for how she stayed with us through all the constant moving around and crazy bumps in the road of life. I guess they meant it when they called the dog "Man's Best Friend", cause that's what she was.

So sorry to keep you guys waiting, thank you for reading!

September

So, this past month has been pretty interesting in of itself. One of my sisters and I were able to see my oldest sister and her husband in Salt Lake City, we went to durango and hung out with family a bit, my sister and my brother in law came just came this past friday and they spent the weekend with us cause my 16-year-old sister was in a singing contest (which she did not win, sadly but still rocked the house and did amazingly.) It's possible our dog might need to be put down as she has gotten sick and in all ways basically deteriorated in front of us, so my mom has been saying that quality of life has to be considered as she is miserable and can barely walk which is hard for me to see as I have known her all her life, so I've been still struggling with the fact that she might need to be let go pretty soon. It's not something I like thinking about, but I don't like seeing her suffer daily with just doing the simple task of walking and eating and drinking. I'm excited about what these next couple of months have for me, as we're planning school trips and I'm starting the long and arduous path to graduation. I've been into Hamilton a WHOLE lot. It's basically what I listen to most of the time now. The fact that American history that hasn't been touched on has been turned into a musical, that then has rap mixed in with it, both amazes and astounds me with the level of creativity that's been put into it. I've even gone so far as to order it for the local library, cause I'm wanting to get it into my iPod as fast as I can. I'm also hoping to see the play, as I saw a poster for it while I was in Salt Lake City that said it would be showing there at one of the local theaters in town. So all in all, I know these next few months will have its ups and downs, but I'm more or less ready for them. Thanks for reading and waiting!!

WAY overdue update!!!!!

Hey, guys, long time no see, huh??? I do have a reason for falling the face off the blogging world, though. I was working at a summer camp in woodland park from late May to early August. I just got back on the 14th, and it's been about 8 days since I got back. Wow. Somehow I feel like I've been here longer. Time's weird that way.

While I was there, I did think about you guys, my loyal readers, and I kind of made an executive decision: for the time being, what I was doing was way more important than blogging for a while. And I think it was a good decision. I made lots of friends, worked, laughed, and just lived for a while. It definitely was an experience, one I'll never forget. If you guys can, I'm asking that you pray for me, cause last night we had some friends over and they mentioned that there's a family in London that might need some nanny services. We're just starting to contact them and see what's up, but this could be the next big step for me, so I'm gonna be praying to see if this is what He wants me to do at the moment. What else has happened, let's see. We've moved into a whole new house which has taken me some getting used to cause when I left we were still at the last house, so I got to come home to a brand new one. So I'm still trying to figure out where everything goes when it comes to cooking as my mom has me making dinner for everyone again. I'm excited for comic con in October, which will be in San Antonio Texas. Which, honestly, is the last place I'd want to go but a few of my favorite actors from a favorite show of mine are going to be there, so that makes the trip worthwhile, at least. Definitely glad to be back, though.

More coming, I just think this is enough for now.

HUGE update!!!!

Hi guys, Mariah here. Sorry I haven't written in a while. Things have been nuts on my end. My summer took the craziest turn and it turns out that I'm here in woodland park working at a summer camp. I'm doing mostly dishes and that stuff, but it's plenty easy and it never fails to tire me out. On top of climbing a long staircase in order to get to work and back is helping some as well. Plans have changed for me I the aspect of comic con not working out but I found another one that's happening in October so I'll try shooting for that one. It's been a mixture of scary, nerve wracking and the feeling that I'm among complete strangers here. It's something different. Which is what I like. In a way, to be completely geeky about it, this is sorta like my own TARDUS adventure: you never know where you're going to end up once you step inside, the merry chases you'll be making and the friendships you'll be making. I guess it's my first official adventure away from what I consider normal, which is fantastic. Feeling really tired, will write again soon.

Saturday

So for the past month or so, I've been doing something new: Tennis. It's been fun, I've been able to learn some things about team work, and the dynamic of it all has been something different, which is good, cause everyone needs a little difference in their life. What's been difficult about this new different challenge, are the matches. Never thought I would be good enough to really be able to play in a match, but I was able to play a few. All of which I lost. Wasn't fun. Yesterday was the last official tennis matches for the Junior Varsity, which was an all-day tournament. All in all, the Junior Varsity had a pretty good winning streak, so when I walked onto the court, I was pretty sure our match was going to end in victory. It didn't. First match was close, with the final score being 6-8, and I was okay with it. But second match it nothing short of slaughter.  Our opponent's coach had the rule that every time the ball bounced on the white line, it counted as a point. Second match's final score was 2-8. My partner and I were pretty down in the dumps afterwards. I was upset cause for me the whole season has been nothing but losses for me. But as the story goes, your first year doing sports like tennis aren't exactly going to go well. This was also my first year of really getting to understand the pain of losing. Losing in family games is okay, cause there's just something about it that makes the feeling of losing easy. It still doesn't feel good, but it's a little less sharp in that case.


 Losing in team sports, however, is an entirely different concept. This side of it is much sharper, much more painful, much more everything. I just don't know how to describe it. Losing in a team sport is like tripping into a mud puddle, only when you're trying to get up, someone just keeps shoving you in. I never understood why my brother was so upset coming home from basketball games after another loss, but I think I can understand where he came from a little better. The question remains, though: Will I be taking up the racquet again any time soon?? answer: I have no idea. After you end up losing so many times the first time you do a team sport, You find it hard to want to do it again. That's been the same problem with me. I want to do it again, but I just wonder: Will I lose again? Will it be as bad as the last season?Why do I want to do it again after taking so many losses? the best advice out there, though, is that if you want to get better at something, keep doing it. For those of you who might be rooting for me, I am thinking about doing it again, but we'll just have to wait and see.

Tuesday

Everybody moves someplace or another. Speaking for myself, I have definitely had the experience. Going from there and back again, only our moving hasn't been as epic as Bilbo's journey had been. It involves, cleaning, packing everything up, clearing everything out, vacating. I've been all over the place when it comes to moving. It was a bit different, though, because I was doing it with my family. There was always someone to help, a lot of able hands, someone to help you continue even when you were dog tired. But now, I'm not the one who's moving. And for some reason, it's becoming difficult to get used to the idea of a family member who had been a huge part of your life to pack up and move on. I don't want them to go, but circumstances are such that things must happen this way. Visiting is definitely a possibility, but I'm going to miss them. I'm going to make a weird analogy here. Siblings are like the Doctor's companions: in the end, they either leave because they have to, or sometimes it just happens unexpectedly. And it's up to us to be the ones to get used to the absence. It's not like they were super close in the first place, but they visited when they could which was fun. I'll just miss them a whole whole lot. But things can never stay the same. Change is always in the wind whether you want it to be or not. And change is something I'm used to, but I'm not used to this kind of change, which I will need to. But some of the best quotes are from Doctor Who, so I'll just end this post like this.

February

Ugh, would you look at that, guys, I've forgotten to post. I guess it's cause I've been paying a little more attention to my other blog (which I have dubbed "My geek blog".) But I guess I could give you guys an update. What's been going on for me is that I've been looking for work, been making a lot of stuff, a lot of school, that sort of thing. My sister and her husband are getting ready for a move, although I am still struggling with letting them leave. I'm learning guitar, and already know the first few chords of Space Oddity, by David Bowie. I have realized that guitar costs you: the ability to feel your fingers, massive blisters, and the like. But it's still been pretty fun to learn. I'm hoping to know enough so that I can get an electric guitar and play around with that. Been dealing with bad colds and stuff that's been going around, which has been fun, my siblings just returned from mexico which was a bit of a culture shock for them. I've been planning for comic con, which is only 4 months away, although I'm not counting down or anything.

 What else? the upstairs part where all five of us biologicals live has been remodeled a bit so that everyone has their own space. I wasn't all that happy about it at first, but it sort of grew on me. Been working on my adventure novel that I'm supposed to write in a year, and I'm actually getting some pretty good ideas, so no writer's block (as of yet.) Oh, yeah, I started Daredevil recently, which is pretty epic, besides Doctor Who. It's something to keep me distracted while I wait for season ten of that. There's also Sherlock season 4, though that's probably not scheduled to come out until next year, but I'll survive. Surprisingly, My brother likes Daredevil too, so we end up watching it together on Netflix sometimes. I have some goals for this year, like travel, get a job and a phone which is definitely a need cause I am kind of tired of using my ipod for contact all the time. Oh, and I'm starting tennis. It's always a good idea to think about going out for sports, which will be a welcome change for me. Been reading a lot, and I ended up reading The Fault In Our Stars for the third time. What can I say, it's a good book.Can't really think of anything else, so I'll just sign off here.

Happy Friday!!!!