Hi all. So it’s…..been a while. I’m at another school in Kansas, I’ve been participating in their performing arts program, been working on keeping grades up, and just living life as well as a person can. And there have been a lot of changes and transitions, and things I’ve been discovering about myself. So, a while ago, I changed my pronouns to “she/they”, and was fine with that for a while. Then I had a bit of some more changes where it didn’t feel like those were the right pronouns, and I started experimenting with chest binding (which went kinda sorta okay even though I don’t have actual binders to use), and played around with calling myself “Cameron”. But then after doing that, writing my actual name out for some reason felt better, and I think I accepted something about myself, I just didn’t know what yet. Then recently, I started watching The Last of Us, and one of the actors, Bella Ramsey (who plays Ellie), is genderqueer. Mostly I was kinda like “oh, cool”, but then the more articles I was seeing about them, something kinda clicked, and this past Thursday, I realized what it was. All my life, besides feeling like a girl and/or feminine, I’ve always felt a “something-other-ness”.
And now I realize that that “something-other-ness” was that I’m actually genderqueer. And I have decided to change my name a bit from “Mariah” to “Mari”, because that also feels right. I think I was also always meant to have multiple pronouns, because I was always more than I actually thought, I just didn’t realize it till now. From what I can understand, what being genderqueer means (according to google) is “a person whose gender identity does not correspond to conventional binary gender distinctions”. And honestly, I couldn’t find a more perfect definition for the kind of person I am and always have been.
I’m still figuring out what being genderqueer means for me, since it can be interpreted different ways by different people, but I want to make my identity my own, so it’ll be a journey for sure, but I will enjoy every step along the way. So, allow me to introduce myself:
Hi! I’m Mari, and my pronouns are whichever ones you want to use. The ones I like to go by personally are she/he/they, but I’m fine with whatever you’re comfortable with. Thank you for being here.
Sorry I haven’t written in a while, I will work on posting more often when I can.
Happy Monday!
